Thank god it's the weekend.







A joke's a very serious thing.






Reality continues to ruin my life.





Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.



 


I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh...is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh...and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh...try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.






Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.






Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.






I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.





How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? - Charles De Gaulle






What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.






I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.






My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.
            -- Ronald Reagan, said during a radio microphone test



The greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in. The ones that swept you off your feet and changed your every view. The ones where you found yourself to be a better person because of who you were when he was around. The ones that made you wake up with a smile on your face no matter how corny it was. The ones that made everything right when it was wrong. The ones that caused you physical pain to leave because leaving meant losing a part of yourself.